Measurements

as of May 25, 2015
weight: 175#
waist: 35.5"
hips: 44.5"
thigh: 27"

It's time I start blogging for real again. and writing out affirmations and working out my mental game! that has been so lacking!
My boyfriend and I were talking and came to this conclusion, "it's too easy to get wrapped up in the crisis of the day and lose touch with the big picture."
I have felt this way since I came back from traveling to Washington. Work started to overwhelm me those first few weeks back from that trip. I got burnt out real quick. Even though I'm not working as much as I did those few weeks, I do get drug down on occasion when work is slow, which is depressing for me when i feel I'm not making enough money to support myself, let alone help with the kids.  and then I get so tired when I do work more hours. ugh! It's like I've been in a kind of survivor mode in that regards which translates into my physical well being. The constant up and down with having the kids for such a short time I do feel like I miss out on a lot of my kids life. that alone, for me, is depressing. such an emotional roller coaster! ugh. The sad drawbacks of divorce with kids still at home.

keys... more drive and focus to retake your former self....focus forward...
ok..here's an affirmation we can repeat, based on what we've been sharing.

'With Drive and Focus I am retaking my former self. I Focus Forward knowing each day I am taking myself closer to my goal of having a fit body.'

'When I focus forward and have more drive I reclaim my former fit self'

When we talk about what we do want, it will be drawn closer to us. we will have it.

Fighter Diet Butt Bible Challenge - Official entry

My name is Suzette. I am 45 years old, divorced, mom of 4 kids, who were big babies being born, two being over 10 lbs each. Over the course of 10 years having four kids I gained over 90 lbs. In 2006 I went on a weight loss journey and lost 90 lbs. going from nearly 250 lbs down to 148 lbs. I maintained my weight near 155-160 lbs for over 5 years minus a short time I went up to 175 lbs when my gall bladder stopped functioning and everything I ate made me bloat. After having my gall bladder removed in 2010 I dropped my weight back down to 155 and maintained it until last year April when I started putting the weight back on. I had dreams of having a photo shoot done but I let some life issues distract me and am now up to 170 lbs.
One of the reasons I want to do this challenge is to be a better example for my 4 kids, who are all obese/overweight. When they were much younger when I was at my heaviest, I feel I was part of teaching them poor nutrition habits that has carried over into their teen years. They don't remember me being overweight, but the poor habits have stuck. I want to show them the positives of discipline, determination and commitment to reach their goals and dreams in life especially as they are entering their college years. I have been failing in those areas over the past year and I want to regain the confidence in myself that those things bring. I want to know I CAN do anything I set my mind to do.
Another reason is that I have had a dream of doing a photo shoot and I believe the accountability and support of the group will be a tremendous help. 
 
45 years old
170 lbs
5ft 8in tall
bf% unknown
photos attached

The Fighter Diet Butt Bible Challenge first progress pic is due for June 3. We are to post weekly progress pics on Wednesday of each week on a private FB page for the challengers. I will do my best to update here as well. 

Mother's Day

Some days I feel the need and longing to come here and write. To come here and share my hearts words. But as soon as I get here to write the words flee me. There was a time when I could come here and the words would just flow from my heart and mind.
My weight loss journey was documented here. and I would open up my heart to those who would find their way here. Writing in the past has been a way for me to express my heart in words. I found a way of discovering my inner being and growing through the process of writing my heart.
Life is full of its challenges and struggles. I've come to know and learn that challenges and struggles will always be there. We will never be free of them. Life will never be easy. Accept it! And ask myself What is the lesson in this? How can I be a better person because of it?
It was Mother's Day today(May 10, 2015). The past few weeks I've really come to realize how much I love my kids. As a mom you know you love your kids. But when scary things happen and you don't know what or how it will turn out you realize how much love you have for your kids. Yesterday and a couple of weeks ago two separate things happened that opened my heart to the love I have for my kids. The fear of not knowing where your kids are or if they are ok makes a momma's heart race and fear the worst. The thought of something happening to one of my babies can be heart wrenching. My daughter will be graduating high school in about 2 weeks and my heart is not ready. Will it ever be?

Follow the plan

When you do something wholeheartedly you get wholehearted progress.

After having been off for more than six months last year I decided to come back and reverse the damage I had done over that time.  I eased back in.  I started gaining strength in the gym upping weights as each week progressed. I was eating mostly ok….. I continued on like this. Strength gains were achieved…yet I still hadn’t lost the pounds I wanted. My weight last week(jan. 24, 2015) topped out at 170 lbs. How discouraging!? The scale is not going in the direction I wanted it to…but when I really got honest with myself, I wasn’t eating as well as I should to lose the fat.

I was trusting the process, but I wasn’t fully doing it wholeheartedly. I knew what I needed to do. I even had a plan laid out and a meal plan to follow!  Why was it so hard?!?  Why couldn’t I just do it like I did back in 2006.

I do NOT want to be 170 lbs! I want to be in that fit body! I’ve got to do this!!!

Here’s the thing, even though my weight had gone up I knew I was getting stronger and I felt like my muscles were growing once again and I was getting stronger!  That was good! That meant something WAS happening under the skin, under the fat. So my mentor suggests to me once again I follow the meal plan I had already laid out. If I did that he felt I should see progress by the end of the week. 

So I mentions this to my boyfriend and I question my ability to be able to do it, as I hadn’t done it yet so far.  His response, “You got this !”   And so it was with the belief of both my mentor and my boyfriend that I set out in my mind that I was gonna do it!  I had to do it! I couldn’t let them down!  I couldn’t let myself down! 

So I set it in my mind!  I’m doing it! I’m gonna stay on plan!  I’ll make my meals and do it!  No exceptions! 

So I come into Friday night and decide to weigh myself!  163…and then again on Saturday morning. 162!!!  I take my measurements…dropped an inch on my hips and 1.5 inches on my waist. 

Was this a fluke?! I did I actually lose 8lbs in one week?!?  I weighed myself again on Sunday morning. 166.  Maybe it was just water weight?  Either way, the scale went down at least 4 lbs and my measurements did go down as well! 

Take home points for me this week:

Follow the Plan! It works!

Persist!

Believe in yourself like those close to you believe in you.

When you give wholeheartedly, progress is inevitable.

Sticking Points

 How do I undo what has been done?
I stick with my meal plan!
Be consistent over time and I will accumulate Momentum
I am in a "U-turn" of getting back on track with my meals.
Do the work. Make it a priority!
Progress is coming. No worries.

Trust the Process...Build a Bigger Engine

I'm going through the process. Some days not so good. Some days good.  I am still not 100% with my food intake. I do pretty good most days and most times, most of the day. Weekends with my boys are not always ideal, actually they down right suck sometimes. (as far as nutrition is concerned).
So I email my mentor. He says to make it a priority.  Enlist the help of my boys to help me. (our "normal" routine has been to get pizza and ice cream. and this past weekend was not different).  But this past week I have been doing a lot better food wise! I felt stronger this week!  So far this week I have done two lower body workouts and one upper body.  (I will do one more upper before the week is out).  The prior week I had not been feeling as strong so dropped weights a couple workouts. But this week was different!  I upped all weights over previous weeks highs.  I am now just above my PR for leg extensions at 142.5#! (previous PR=140# back in 2010) It has been 5 years since I've been able to do that weight on leg extensions!  I know I am stronger in other movements, but I am unsure of previous PR's. 
The point is NOT about the PR's but the fact that I am getting stronger.  For the style of training I am doing, that translates to muscle growth to me.  I can see it in my delts. Mainly because I have less fat there! LOL. I trust other body parts are growing, I just need to get the fat off!  But the more I build my Engine, the more I grow, the more calories I will burn at rest....meaning the fat will come off!  I just have to keep trusting the process and Build my Engine...and get my nutrition under control...make it a priority!

Trust the Process!

there's a game today???!? lol. just finished up a lower body pump. Perfect way to start the New Year!
Right now I am really trusting the process.  The only noticeable changes I am seeing are the changes in the gym. I am still increasing in either weights or reps. I am close to a PR on leg extension, which is an indication for me on my progress.  with a 3x3 cadence I am at 135# for 12 reps!  my PR is 140# back in 2009/2010 Muscle Mission. So I know I am building a good strength base which would indicate a good muscle mass base to me.  I am building a Bigger Engine! which is the base of good fat loss which will begin to happen. I am trusting the process!