Mission 5: Genesis T-63 making progress

The days already seem like they are just going by so quickly.  And I continue to ask myself, "Am I giving 100%?"  Some days are yes, some are more like 98%.
The "off" parts are mainly timing of eating and quantity of food.  One night I had a couple of cookies, but besides that I am doing great.  I am  loving my workouts and am still progressing in weights and reps.  Tonight was lower body, consisting mainly of squats.  Heavy lifts of 3-5 reps.  Barbell squats I am up to 135# (which is good for me).  (up from 115# three weeks ago)  Progress!
I do believe I am seeing changes in my comparison from day 1 on November 21.  I feel "tighter".

My December Promise:
I keep eating right.
I remember this is my dream.
I work through the pain.
I keep smiling
I wake up every morning Determined to go to bed with satisfaction.
I remind myself, I am not alone.
I drink more water.
I push harder.
I do not give up. Ever.
I am unstoppable.



I am seeing changes for sure. for sure the tummy and hips.  I have not taken any measurements since day 1.  I will do that next week.  But I am confident I am making progress and positive changes. 

Mission 5 Genesis T-71 My December Promise

I found this awesome pic on facebook today. I have printed it up and put it up right in front of me just above my computer so I can see it every day.



It has been a good two days since my last post.
The biggest thing has been keeping the question, "Are you giving 100%?" forefront in my mind.  Also the thought that if I am not giving this program my 100% commitment, then my word means nothing.  I want to be a person of character and integrity.  And I do that by living my core values and beliefs.
I have decided to allow myself a few "off plan" treats (popcorn and a few pizza breadsticks). And to me, these food items I am not considering as taking me off that 100% commitment.  I have been sticking pretty close to eating every 3-4 hours.  And the past few days my tummy just feels like it is "tighter".

I think I need to change the wording to this poster.
"I keep eating right.
I remember this is my Dream.
I continue to work through the pain.
I keep smiling.
I wake up every morning DETERMINED to go to bed satisfied.
I am not alone.
I drink more water.
I push harder.
I press on!"

As I did my HIIT cardio tonight a lot of self talk was going on.
"Give it 100%!"
"think about how awesome you going to look and feel come Feb. 14."
I have my PRW taped to my elliptical so I can see it as I exercise.  It was "speaking" to me.  "If you really want this, you're gonna have to work for it.  It's just not going to come to you.  I'm not going to just sit by and molly coddle you, I'm going to push you.  If you really want this, you have to believe.  You've done this before and you can do it again!
Don't put your head down!  Look up!  Keep your eyes on "me".  Focus on the why.  Focus on the dream.  the harder you push the closer you get.  If I am really your PRW you will keep me in your heart and you will know I am with you in every moment.  Keep going, you're almost there. "
These were the things I was saying in my mind.
And it worked!

Here are side by side comparison from day 1 to today.

Mission 5 T-73 Openness

Openness.  willingness or readiness to receive (especially impressions or ideas).(free Online dictionary)

I have found myself saying that "I am Open ..." a lot lately.  I do believe it started shortly after my divorce was final the end of October.  I remember saying I was open for what was to come the week I was in Jersey with Elaine.
I wanted to soak in every moment I was there, which to me, is to be open to the experience.  Elaine shared some things with me that, if I wasn't open to receive those ideas it could have had a negative effect.  But I remember saying I was open to whatever she had to say.
I believe that "openness" is what allowed me to not react negatively to losing my job only one day upon my return back home.  I remember praying, "Ok, God, I am open to whatever it is you have for me.  I am not afraid.  I trust in You."
The very next day, I got a call from a friend who had no idea I had just lost my job, offering me a possible part time job.  That same day I also had two people contact me "out of the blue" about helping with weight loss/training.
I believe because I was open to what was to come, that things were opened to me.  I do believe "things" don't just come to you unless Someone believes you are ready to receive.
Elaine shared with me some "hard" questions and also a blog post that said "HELLO!!" to me.  When the student is ready(open to learn) the teacher appears.  I am open to what is before me.  I am open to the "hard" questions.  I am open to finding my own answers.
Some of those answers has prompted me to take action.  To be committed to my dream, to be committed to the outcome, to be committed to the process.

My sister has "volunteered" me to be her hair color model on Monday.  She said the only "requirement" is to be open to whatever the instructor wants to do.  I told her I was open for whatever.  I believe the outcome will be awesome, because I am open to it!

I believe if we lived "closed" lives we will not reach our potential, nor will we dream dreams and go after our dreams and goals.  When we open ourselves up to the possibilities, the possibilities come to us.  Mind you, there is action involved once we are presented with the opportunity, idea, dream.
The most important action to take is the first step.  I was reminded of this tonight in an instant message from a gal on facebook I hardly even know.
How does this happen?  I am Open.

As Carlos has reminded us today:

"Because it is commitment not words that keep us on task.

Obviously this is not for everyone.

Discipline feels no obligation to offer an apology for the process that forges bone into steel- so we shouldn’t be looking for it. Nor does it have ears to hear complaints- no one has to do this, anyone can bail out leave at any time.

But if we embrace the process then we will be transformed into something that we never were but always wanted to be."

To me this says, Be open to the process and put action to it by being committed.  Words mean nothing unless we put into action the commitment. I believe this is what Elaine was thinking when she asks the question, "Are you giving it 100%?  If not, why not?"   If I am not giving 100% to the commitment of working this program with all I've got, then my words mean nothing!  Then this mission does not hold it's true meaning.
I am "embracing the process" and am transforming into something I never have been, but always wanted to be.   I am not the same person I was, because I have been OPEN to change and growth.
I am OPEN!

The past few days since I answered those questions I have been committed 100% to the process.  I am having some awesome workouts.  I am eating the way I need to.  I am making right choices that will take me closer to reaching my goal.  Today I feel thinner.  My muscles are feeling good and worked.

Mission 5: T-76 Are you giving it 100%?

"Why aren't you following your plan? OK, two questions. What does this mission mean to you? Are you giving it 100%? If not, why not? I guess that's four questions. You don't have to respond to me. These are some questions I would ask myself."
Thank you,  Elaine, for that! I was thinking about these questions all day...and into my workout this evening.
I know you said I don't have to respond, but I'd like to.  If for anything to explore for myself and think "out loud", if you will.
"Why aren't you following your plan?"   to be honest, I just got lazy.  I had my kids and chose not to workout.  I allowed the day to go on without sticking to my plan.  It wasn't because I didn't have time.  It was a choice.  'It's OK, I'll work out tomorrow.'(but it didn't happen the next day either.)
Affirmation: I follow my plan because I am committed to the results following my plan will achieve for me.

"What does this mission mean to you?"  the warrior mind code comes to mind.
"I no longer accept the mediocre in my life, but accept the challenge of doing my best each moment before me.
I lead and live as an example for others to follow.
I train hard.
I set challenging goals for myself, and hold myself accountable to their achievement.
I accept nothing less of myself for I am worthy of their achievement.
Every day that I breathe I remain committed.
Consistently without fail, I will never quit.
I will never quit."
It means feeling that feeling I had when I did those 5 chinups back in Feb.2010.  Feeling strong.  Feeling powerful beyond measure. Mind, body and soul.
"Are you giving it 100%?"  Well, no, actually, as evidenced by my not following my own plan.  but that changed today.
I DO have control whether or not I give 100% !
Affirmation:  I give each day 100% .  I give 100% to my nutrition and weight training, because when I do reaching my goal is only a matter of time.  I give 100% to my mind and spirit as that will give me the drive and determination to press on towards my goal.

I will ask myself these questions.  I will answer them with Powerful Affirmations.
Is what I am thinking, saying, doing, eating helping me get closer to my goal?
My goal isn't just about my physical body, but about becoming who I am meant to be.  Every choice I make is a reflection of me and my character and commitment.

Mission 5: Genesis: Enjoy the Journey

As first weeks go, it wasn't what I had planned.  I am still working on my meal plan.  Thursday and Friday workouts were not done.  But I did make some minor changes in stats.
With it being Thanksgiving many thoughts were centered around what I am thankful for.  A recent conversation also introduced what is it that makes us happy.  Those things, in turn, are also things to be thankful for.  Simple things that put a smile on our faces.

Music.  Music is a powerful thing.  Music reminds us of memories from our past.  Music brings meaning to the moments were are in right now...which will be future memories.  Music can affect your emotions.  I listen to music when I workout.

Laughing with friends.  What a treasure this is!  I love it when you laugh so hard your sides start hurting and you can't breathe.  Your face hurts from smiling so much. 

There really are so many more simple things that can make you happy and by sharing them with someone else, you can then make someone else happy.

These are the things we need to think about, especially in those times where you are down.

This is also the way we need to think when it comes to our physique goals.  Those things mentioned above promote good feelings within us.  Think of your dream, your goal.  What good feelings will you feel when you reach your goal.  Will you feel like smiling?  Will you be happy?  Will you be thankful?  Don't wait until you reach your goal to feel those feelings.  Feel them now, as if!  Make each day full of "happy" and "thankful" thoughts and feelings.

Enjoy the Journey!

How will you feel when you reach your goal?  Live it Now!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! 
If you've read any of my posts you'll know that I have had a rough year.  The past year has brought about many changes and trials in my life.  Some very recent.  How easy would it be to be mad at the world, mad at God, just plain mad!  How easy would it be for me to say, "Why me?" 
But instead, I give thanks!  I am thankful for all I have gone through the past year, the past five years. 
Do I wish my life were different and things didn't have to be this way?  yes.  but thank God I am here today and I AM thankful for all that I have gone through.  I am better and stronger having gone through this.  I am so thankful for the people that have come into my life in the past year and even the past five years.  I am so thankful for the life-long friendships I have that have stood by me.  I am thankful for an amazing and supportive family who has each been there for me each in their own special way. 
I am thankful for a healthy body and am able to lift weights and feed and fuel my body. 

I am thankful for what is to come!  Only great things! 

What are you thankful for?

Mission 5: Genesis T- 84

My journey to today has taken many turns and ups and downs.
The past 18 months has seen some tough times in my life. While I was not consistent with my training and there were inconsistencies in my nutritional intake, I have for the most part stayed healthy. During the gall bladder issues I had last year my weight went up 25 lbs from 148 up to 175. This, after reaching, what I felt at the time, the best shape of my life. Over the course of the past 18 months I have gotten my weight back down, but also at the cost of some lean muscle.
So here I am at a major turn in my life. What is before me is practically an open road. I have been challenged to "step out on the water."
One of the steps I have decided to take is to reclaim my physique goals and get back to the shape I was back on Feb. 14, 2010.

This is my vis pic for this mission!

I have taken some measurements and weighed myself. (my scale also has a BIA device to measure bodyfat %. I am not counting on it to be an accurate source of bodyfat % measurement, but as a guide showing progress.)
My stats as of this morning(November 21, 2011):
scale weight: 152.8 lbs
bodyfat %: 29.2%
waist: 33"
hips: 40 3/4"
right thigh: 24"
calf: 15.5"
chest: 34"(with sports top on)

My goal is to cut down the bodyfat by quite a bit. (in the pic above, my bodyfat% was at 15% and that is my first mid-term goal) And to gain back the lean muscle I have lost.
I will be using Scott Tousignant's "Metabolic Masterpiece" program the next 12 weeks.

This is one part of my "Genesis", the physical part.
I have already begun on the mental and spiritual part, but am far from where I want to be. Also in the works are the financial and life goals. I have taken small steps towards those ideas.

Here are today's Day 1 "before" pics:

(Not of super importance, but a New Suit Must be a reward for this mission!)

T-3 days to Mission 5: Genesis

I have decided to start up my 5 year Anniversary shred mission on Monday, November 21, 2011, instead of Tuesday. Still to finish up on February 14, 2012.
I am nervously excited about this Mission. After nearly two years of health and personal issues, I am a little bit nervous about this Shred Mission. I am feeling the pressure of putting myself out there (even though there are not many here).
While I've had overall success at losing weight and keeping it off(even after gall bladder surgery), I have felt like I have not yet come close to my own potential. In February 2009 I did feel like I was in the best shape of my life, but I know there is more in me.
I have grown much over the past 20 months(I can't believe it's been that long already, let alone five years!) spiritually, mentally and emotionally. At 42 years old, I feel like I've finally grown up in ways.
But here I find myself at major turning points in my life. I feel like I have endured some of the hardest times in my life the past year, the greatest growth phase of my short life. I find myself not just at the end of a phase in my life(the end of a 21 year marriage and the end of an 8 year job, within 2 weeks of each other) but at the Beginning of something New and Exciting. For most of my life I feel like I have lived in fear. But, with such big changes happening in my life so close to each other, I am finding myself Unafraid. I feel like I am finally walking in the faith I have so many times shared with you all here. A faith I questioned of myself so many times.
What was the turning point for me in not living in fear?
It happened to be a week in New Jersey. There are so many words to describe what that trip meant to me.
Letting go of the past.
Letting go of guilt.
Completely forgiving...of myself and those I felt wronged me.
Changing my perspective.
Refocus.
Renewal.
Setting new goals.
Dreaming again.
Living the moments.
Loving the moments.
Knowing I am OK.
Being Thankful for each and every moment.
Through all of that, receiving Peace.

Elaine, from NotJustaDaydream.com, happened to be the vessel through which all of that came.

So my heart races once again at the onset of yet another "mission". Stay tuned for Day 1 of Mission 5: "Genesis"

A New Beginning: A Genesis Week

A New Beginning: a Genesis Week

I have shared this blog title before.  Yet it seems to have taken on a new meaning.
The past five years I have been on a journey.  One would think it was a journey of weight loss, but it was so much more than that!  It was the journey of Suzette.
My "Genesis Week" started five years ago on July 30,  2006.  That was the day I set a goal to lose 30 lbs by Christmas of that same year.  But the decision to commit didn't happen until September 19, 2006 when I took that first "before" picture with at least a 40 inch waist and 50 inch hips.
That day was the beginning of what you now see today.  My body is not where I'd like it to be and neither is my inner man.  But that IS the journey!
What you see today is not the person you may have seen on July 30, 2006.  And such is the journey we all should be taking.  The one of transformation of mind, body, soul.  We should not be stagnant beings.  And we are NOT!  We are either growing or we are dying.  And quite possibly both!  If we are growing, then essentially a part of us is dying.  We have to let the old parts of us that held us back to die.  The Old parts of us have to die off so the New can come in and grow.
Just look at the eagle.  As an eagle goes through a molting of his wings he has to practically die for that to happen.  But he doesn't do this alone!  He has other eagles who have already gone through this molting process to feed him and help keep him alive as he doesn't have strength of his own to get his own food. (http://eaglez4worth.tripod.com/id89.html)read this link as it really tells the story of how I have been feeling)
My journey feels quite like the eagle's molting process.  It feels like my whole life has "died".  The me of yesterday has died.  I have been in a depression and the Eagles in my life have been feeding me, keeping me alive so my new wings can come in and grow so I can begin to fly once again, maybe even for the first time.  To Soar!  To soar high above the circumstances of life.  To Rise Above!
I am stepping out!  I am jumping!  more like being pushed, really! just like the adult eagles do with their young.  I'm either going to fall crashing to the ground or I will spread my wings and fly!
but I WILL fly!
I have been preparing for this day for five years, unbeknownst to me.  but God knew!  He already had it planned out.  People have been speaking into my life and I have been listening.
This past week with Elaine, has been so pivotal for me.  It was all in preparation of what was to come today.  I was able to really get my mind in a right place of peace and genuinely being OK.  To be able to put behind me and allow to die the pain of rejection and other negative beliefs and thoughts.  I've gone from just surviving the moments to being able to Live in the Moments and Love the Moments given to me.

Jersey Shore

I have been in Wall, New Jersey since Monday, October 31, 2011 visiting with my friend Elaine Morales from NotJustaDaydream.com.  She has been training for her third figure competition.  So this week has been "peak week" for her.  Elaine has not only transformed her body but has transformed her whole way of thinking.  A once shy, introverted person is now confident and full of positivity.

Here are some pics from my trip to Jersey so far.  Others can be found in my facebook albums.

T-6 Jersey

In six days, I'll be heading to New Jersey to visit with my friend in fitness, Elaine, author of  "Why Delay Amazing" a complete guide to transformation,  who will be on stage on Saturday, November 5, entering her third figure competition.
I will be spending "peak week" with her.  She is already a champion in her own right.  She has transformed her life, inside out!  She is a great inspiration to me.  I can't wait to meet her.  I'll post pics upon my return.

T-14 Jersey

In two weeks I will be on my way to New Jersey! I will be staying with Elaine for a week leading up to her 3rd Figure Competition. I am so excited!

A friend of mine shared this on her website and it really resonated with me,
" I am letting go of my old identity and discovering the new."

In legal terms, I will be doing just that next Monday as my divorce will be final in the courts. It will be the beginning of the next chapter in my life. It will be the starting of "discovering the new". A new beginning. What could truly be my "Genesis Week".

But sad to say, this past week has not been one of my best. No one said divorce would be easy, but damn, why do we have to treat each other so crappy. It has been a mentally tough week for me to replace those negative words with positives..not just replacing them, but to believe them.

I want all this crap to be done and over with and all the drama that comes with it to be done. I know life will still show up, but I am hoping such dramatic things will be diverted in the future and that I have hopefully learned some lessons for future reference. I really want this 5 year Anniversary Shred Mission to be a focused, unstoppable effort.
If you don't join me in the shred, at least come support me along the way. I (we all do, really) need all the encouragement and support I can get.
It is my hope to be able to reflect over the past 5 years of this journey as I go through this next Shred Mission. and to also Dream and look forward to what is to come. So shred or not, you don't want to miss reflections and lessons and dreams to come as I share with you all.

 

I don't think I've shared with you all yet. Starting on November 22, 2011 I will be starting a 12 week "Shred Mission" to commemorate my 5 year weight loss journey.  An 'anniversary' mission of sorts.  It was during this time frame that I started making changes in my life, mind, body, spirit.  I had found a fellow by the name of Adam Waters.  It was by his encouragement that I started blogging my weight loss journey.  So in a way, it is to celebrate with him the journey we have shared these past five years.  I will share my reflections from this time with you all.  I have also chosen this 12 week time frame as it was two years ago that I shared with my good friend, Sharon Harris from Australia, one of my best physique and internal transformations.  Since that time her and I have gone through some difficult times(individually of each other) so I'd like to do this shred mission as a way of a New Beginning.  Sharon had a huge impact on my life during our shred mission 2 years ago and I'd like to thank her by doing this "Anniversary" shred mission. The past two years has seen me start and "quit" many times due to life situations, but it is my intention to complete this next 12 week "mission".

 

So stay tuned within the next month as I journey through 12 weeks from November 22, 2011 to February 14, 2012.

T-28 Jersey

Did my cardio early (for me!) this morning.  Instead of "traditional" cardio I did another HIIT round of "kickboxing" for 10 minutes, then did some "HIIT" jump roping.  I don't remember my calves feeling sore from jump roping back when I was a kid! (but I did do calves yesterday and were kind of sore)  But, boy, was that a heart rate pump!! once I got to not stepping on the rope!  I had so much energy I scrubbed by kitchen floor, on my hands and knees, just like Cinderella! LOL!
I am focused on looking towards the vision I see for myself.  I see it.  I live it.  I breathe it.  I believe it. My daily thoughts and actions reflect that vision.
Previous successes have shown me that I have only scratched the surface of my potential, mind, body and spirit.
What an amazing journey we are on...for us all to "Eclipse" our former selves.

Day 1/Day 3 Pic:



I am still seeing that my hip stature is off balance.  I've noticed this before.  I have a tight hip flexor, I wonder if that has anything to do with my imbalance on my right side?
Besides that, I am already seeing some minor changes, especially in tummy.

Vision

"Perhaps the most powerful aspect of vision is that it changes your way of thinking, which in turn changes the way you live.
An Olympic swimmer endures the long hours of staring at the bottom of a pool, day after day, because he is motivated by the vision of the gold to come.
A mother endures the painful labor of childbirth because the vision of her newborn baby sustains her.
And a four-year-old endures the struggle to be a very, very good boy for another two weeks because he is motivated by a vision of gifts under a Christmas tree.
Vision is a power that motivates us to do great things, give great things, and love at all times. Vision keeps us going when there doesn’t appear to be any other reason to keep pushing forward toward the goal."
(Jon  
 
Five years has passed since I started this "weight loss" journey.
this pic was taken September 19, 2006.


The Vision I had for myself at that time was... to not be where I was.  I wasn't looking forward in the sense of an "ideal physique" because I just didn't know or believe it was possible for me.  The vision I had was to not be 90 lbs overweight...to not be what I saw in the mirror.  30 lbs was all I could believe...and even that I wasn't quite sure I could do.  All I knew was that I didn't want to be where I was...mind, body, soul.  It really wasn't about the weight but how I felt in the body I had "created"...or rather, allowed to happen.  And my body was a pure reflection of how I thought about myself.  I didn't like me.  I didn't like the choices I felt "pressured" to make.  Those choices were made out of fear.
But I finally made some choices for me and what was right for me.  I made a decision after much "talking"(months, maybe even years) about it to lose some weight.  Once I had it set in my mind that I WAS Doing it, I just did it!  The food, the workouts, the changing of my thoughts...It was all deliberate and determined.  I was committed.  I wasn't going to let anything stop me.  Not the processed food that was in my house.  Not even my own negative thinking...about myself, about my life.  It was conscious effort and conscious thinking and self-talk.  Something just "clicked" in me that said, "enough is enough.  I'm doing this! no more talking, no more hoping. Just Do It!"
I read and read all I needed to do...while eating bowls of ice cream..and yes, that is plural...  I would literally sit and eat 2-3 bowls of ice cream while reading how to train, eat right, think right!
Then it was time to put what I was reading into action!  I set goals.(30lbs  by Christmas of that year- 2006)  I printed up visualization pics.  I said some affirmations.  One of them being, "I am 155! I am 155!"  That is what I would say outloud...with emotion and with all my heart...while I would workout upstairs in my house with only a set of 6 lb dumbells and an exercise bike..and 90 lbs of extra bodyweight!
But it really wasn't about being 155 lbs! I didn't quite know it at the time, but it was about who I wanted to be inside at 155 lbs. It wasn't for the "glory" from my peers or being a certain bodyfat percent(as I really didn't know what could be possible for me at that time).  It was for me to be able to like myself.  To have confidence in me.  To have a good self-esteem.  To believe I had value.  To be able to look in the mirror and like what and who I saw.
 
And so with the inspiration of my OWN story, I am going to do this!
My post from the other day about being sick...In all truth I was not physically sick.  My head hurt from thinking!  From thinking about all that I didn't have or felt I was "losing."  My chest hurt because my "heart" was hurting.  My stomach hurt from letting all these thoughts and negative emotions churn me up in my body.  Some days I do great and others I allowed to let my emotions rule me.  I will not discount the pain nor push it down..but I must not also let it overwhelm me.  I must manage it.  I must take every thought captive.  Just as I did 5 years ago, I must affirm what and who I want to be(not just the weight I want to be).  I must do this outloud...with passion, with determination, with committment to the outcome..the vision of who I am.
An inadvertant comment on a facebook post I made from an old high school acqaintance reminded me of my purpose. Someone I haven't talked to since high school!(nearly 25 years ago!)

"Sorry Suzette. But hello to you and yes you were created for a purpose to inspire others!!"

So I have reset my mind!  I will not live in that "sick" place I was a few days ago.  The vision of who I want to be will change the way I think and in effect change the way I live.  And I will Become that which I envision!

What is my vision for myself?
A Healthy Soul, a Healthy Mind, a Healthy Body.  Someone who inspires others to be and do the same.  I live in peace even when my circumstances say otherwise.

Being Transparent

I chatted with a good friend of mine yesterday.  In our conversation she says I sound like I am doing well, by the sounds of my blog posts.  Well, that's really only the half of it.  I am doing well.  But at the same time I am experiencing some extreme feelings of rejection and in my blog posts I don't mention this.  I do want to only say what is good and positive...but at the same time I don't want to be a "fraud".  The more we think on things, the more of that thing we bring into our lives.  I have experienced this on both accounts (good and bad).  I want so much to stay focused on those good and positive things.  Yet at the same time I am going through some life changes that are challenging.
I don't want to focus on the overwhelming feelings of rejection this past year has been challenging me with.  The past few days have been tough.
But what I have been challenged with (in a good way) Spiritually is to "Be Still".
We can get so busy with our lives or, for me, to always be thinking( I tend to overthink. doh!).  In whatever form we are "busy" if we don't take the time to "Be Still" life can seem to become overwhelming with the stresses and hard challenges...and for me right now, the overwhelming feelings of rejection in several areas of my life.  My divorce will be final October 24.  My 7 year old wants to live with his dad.  I haven't been able to talk to one of my best friends in months.

This is the stuff transformation is all about.  This is the stuff that holds people back from reaching their dreams and goals.  This is the stuff that stops people from moving forward in life.  This is the stuff that keeps people from reaching physique goals.
It is in learning how to think in these times and situations that seem so overwhelming.  It is in learning and finding Truth.  Feelings of rejection are really selfish thoughts.  Gaining a different perspective is essential here.  Counting Blessings are one way to do that.  I have counted my blessings...  This is the stuff I need to focus on.  The things in my life I have little to no control over, I need to "be still" with.  I need to see from a new perspective.  I need to focus on "what's good about this?"  The truth is even in the darkest of circumstances there IS something good!  We just have to be still long enough to see it, to hear it, to feel it, to Be it.

I know this is the internet and a very "public" place...but I really want my journey to be transparent.  I want people to see that it is so much more than just eating right, or working out.  As we get our hearts and minds right...that is when the eating and working out will become a non-issue.  But until then, we press on despite not always feeling like it. 

With all that said, I have been eating good the past few days.
I have been working my butt off in the gym, really pushing hard.  I have sweat!  I have pushed.  I have pulled.  I have punched.  I have kicked.  I have grunted!  I feel like things are moving forward.  I can feel the body burning and working through out the days.  As I get my food more in line with my core beliefs and dreams and goals, I know I will be a burning warrior machine.  I can already feel it.

Remain Steadfast

Some days I feel like the Dream Stealer is working overtime to knock me off my path.  My Inner Peace has been challenged many times since returning from my vacation.  But I remain steadfast(: firm in belief, determination, or adherence) in keeping my Inner Peace.
With each challenge I am learning more and more to take each situation and try to learn from it and become better.  The time of allowing circumstances or negative interactions to bother me are getting less and less.  I am choosing to reflect on those situations and learn from them and to not let my emotions rule me.
I have finally learned about myself that when I let my negative emotions rule that everything stops in my life.  I am not able to move forward with my dreams and goals.    The choices I make reflect those negative emotions.
I made some poor choices this weekend.  My first reaction is to "kick myself".
I made better choices today.
For about four hours today, I helped my cousin put in new insulation in her attic.  We crawled on our belly's on pieces of plywood and the 2x6 beams.  We sweat.  We were huffing and puffing.  It was quite the workout!  Kind of like doing planks and elbow crawls.  We both ended up with bruises on our knees, hips, elbows and some on the ribs.  We bumped our heads on the attic ceiling beams too many times to count.  Our whole bodies are sore.  Then I went to a late lunch with a friend and had a grilled chicken sandwich(but I did have some ice cream for dessert)  Within 3 hours I was starving!  So after showering the insulation dust I had a big protein shake and then went out to the garage and did my workout for the day.  I had to get out there before my body "said" no.  I am so glad I did, even after working so hard in the attic.  I felt great!  (even with the poor choices from the weekend)  I did more reps with heavier weights and more sets(compared to the last time I did this workout).  My body feels completely worked, from head to toe.

I am blessed!  During lunch today with my friend, I was sharing with her how blessed I am to have such a blessing in some very special friendships that have grown over the past year.  I remember as a young person feeling like I never had any friends or only a very few.  Now I am finding I am blessed by some truly wonderful people in my life.  I want to always be very thankful and grateful for these gifts in my life.  These gifts are what have helped to carry me through some very tough trials over this past year.  It is my hope to give back to those who have lovingly given to me.

Balance: Spirit, Mind, Body

Yesterday's post was really empowering for me.  To be able to come to that place of just being.  I have grown so much over the past few years and quite a bit in just the past year.  But now is the time to Be that which I have grown into.
I feel I am still learning daily about myself and how I can be a better me.  I am learning to take situations that have occurred recently and am working on ways I could respond better..or to even just pause even before responding.  This will take some practice and mindful thinking in the moment.
This journey we are on has really very little to do with our physical bodies, but is very much mental and spiritual.  What is needed is a balance of spiritual strength, mental strength and bodily strength.  I see the spiritual as something that is within the core of our being...it is really what drives us.
The spiritual part of us seeks Peace.  When we are at peace in the core of our being..that is when we will  just BE.  Be who we are created to be.  Be what our destiny is calling us to be.
I am at a place of peace today.  I am learning that despite some of the circumstances that are out of my control, I can still be at peace and know I am being the best me I can be in this moment and yet can still learn from those experiences.
When the peace is at that core spiritual level, that is when everything else will fall into place..the mental strength, and even the physical strength.  I think balance can only be achieved when we are at a place of spiritual peace because everything else falls into place from there.

Workout done!
eats are doing better.  making better choices.

Just Be!

My older sister cut and colored my hair today.  She always makes me look beautiful!


We were talking about how much I have changed over the years since I was young.  I was very shy and didn't like to be in  front of people.  I was always a "follower".   But I have also been grooming over the years to be a leader.  I was thinking about this the past few days.  Some of my first experiences as a leader was being a team captain on my high school basketball team.  Then again when I worked at a summer church camp the summer after I graduated from high school I was "appointed"  as being "in charge" of the snack shop.   I was thinking about all this after I had read something someone close to me had shared with me this past year or so.  This is what was shared with me:  You are a natural born teacher and leader – you’ve just got to grow into that skin now.
As I shared that with my sister, she says this,  "stop thinking about it and being concerned about what that means and just be.  Just BE what you are.  Just BE who you are.  You are a leader so just Be.  Don't think about what you used to be, just BE who you ARE now!  Do what you love and you just BE that."
I have an amazing sister!  She is the one who truly inspired me to just go after my goal of losing weight.  She believed in me and wanted me to succeed.  But not only that, she is an amazing woman.  She has gone through so much over the years as a single mother at a young age and did what she needed to support her son and herself.  She is a strong woman.  She is going through her own personal struggles but has remained strong through it all and is Being who she needs to be to make it through.

Yesterday did not go as planned for my workout.  I work late on Sunday nights and don't get to bed until near 2 am most weekends...and then having to get up early to get kids off to school.  I had a morning appointment with my friend who is a massage therapist.  Painfully wonderful!   Lunch time then time to pick up kids from school.  supper with the kids.  Then I laid down for a nap after dinner...well the "nap" lasted through midnight.  So the workout did not get done!
Needless to say, after my haircut tonight, I was not going to miss my workout!  But I still need to zero in on my diet.  I am not out of control but I am still choosing foods that are not supporting my goals.  I need to make some changes.  I have less than two months to make some major changes in my physique before I go to Jersey to visit Elaine.  I have to bring up my game!  She is going to put me to work and I have to be ready.
You all are pushing me to bring my best to the table.

Here is a side by side 14 day comparison from September 1 to today.


I see some minor changes.  But I am not looking for minor!
Certain foods give me bloating issues and I have to be more mindful of those foods and how my body reacts...I see obvious bloating in comparison.

It's time to BE!
BE Unstoppable!
BE a Champion!
BE a Leader!

Decide

Decide

Every day stronger!

I needed this message:

"When something knocks you off track, get up quickly and point yourself back in the right direction. Decide that you will not tolerate any excuses, not from yourself or from anyone else. Do what it takes to deal with life as it comes, and firmly take control of your own destiny"
Ralph Marston

Read more: http://greatday.com/#ixzz1WuSVJHyE

It matters not how many times you get knocked down but how many times you get back up!  I will never give up!  Every Day Stronger!  The more I learn, the more quickly I get back up!  I take control of my attitude.  I take control of my thoughts.  I take every thought captive.
I will make no excuses..but I will get back up again and again and again..until I stay up and STAND Strong!
Once a decision is made...a truly, gut honest, whole-hearted Decision...nothing will be able to stop you.  I have done this before and I am doing it again!

A "Genesis week"

I feel like I have so much to say.  The past few days since I've been home I've really had a chance to reflect on my vacation and what it has meant to me.  A recent blog post I read really summed it up for me.  In it the blogger said this,

"Have you ever thought to yourself, you are exactly where you need to be at this very moment. Sort of like...if that didn't happen, this wouldn't have happened, and if that wouldn't have happened, this couldn't have happened. Even our failures play into this scenario and work towards the good."

This isn't really much related to fitness and nutrition in the physical sense...but it has everything to do with the fitness of your soul and feeding yourself the good food your soul needs.
As you could probably imagine, I was greatly disappointed in the fact that I wasn't going to Australia this month.  It was something I had set my heart on since May of last year.  I didn't know how it was to happen, but I was going on faith that it just would be.  I kept that faith until the end of July when it was decided I wasn't to go.  But in a matter of days, my sister had called me and had asked me to then come to Albuquerque to help her move to Texas.  If I had gone to Oz, this wouldn't have happened.
The first two days I was in Albuquerque I essentially packed most all of Rachel's stuff.  This was great for me, believe it or not.  It allowed me to focus on something other than myself and the issues I had been dealing with at work and even the life issues from the past year.  For me, this was not a "pain covering solution" to do this.  It was all about a change of focus.
 A few financial changes in recent months has allowed me to save some money, which was intended to be used during my trip to Oz.  So with this "extra" money saved I was able to buy my sister two new tires that she desperately needed...especially if I was to be driving her vehicle 600+ miles to Texas!  This wouldn't have happened if I had gone to Oz.  Scott drove with me in Rachel's vehicle to Texas.  There's a good chance this wouldn't have happened if I had not been there.
My time spent with Rachel in Texas was a special time of sisterly bonding.  I will treasure this time with her...and I know she treasures this time as well.
This trip accomplished what I had set out to do...to be renewed, rejuvenated and restore peace in my spirit.  It was all that and more.  We laughed.  We played.  We cried.  We talked.  We were sisters!
Friday at work it was pay day, so I was able to catch up with some of my staff.  I was greeted by hugs and "we are so glad you are back!" and on Saturday one of them left me flowers saying they missed me and was glad I was back.  Also, Saturday at work I had a friend of mine tell me how happy I looked...and that she had not seen me this happy in a long time.  Today, in my counseling session the counselor said she could sense as I was talking that I seemed more at peace and relaxed.
Yesterday after church, my kids and I got KFC and went to a local park and played on the playground...ALL of us!  More laughter and smiles from my kids!  and today, it was yet another beautiful day in Southeast Michigan.
This morning I went out in the garden and took some pics.  Taking pics like this, for me, is a perfect way to destress and relax.  Today was all about enjoying the beauty that is all around in this moment...in the garden and even the weeds!(make sure you check out my pics on facebook!)  Today, after I made dinner, which all the kids ate!!!( stovetop grilled chicken and broccoli and carrots) we all went outside and either walked or rode bikes.
All of this,  Strength and Healthy "Food" for my spirit.

Something I've learned over this past month.  If I were to sit and fret over what I was "missing" then I would miss enjoying what was right in front of me.  I am exactly where I need to be in this very moment.

On to things physical.  I have taken up a 10 week "challenge" with one of my friends on another forum.  I got in my first workout today after laying off for nearly a month.  It felt good!  (but I will let you know how the muscles feel in a day or two!)  Eats were good!
Here are today's pics: 

Getting Unstuck....part 2: Genesis

"Getting Unstuck" ...part 2.

"So often, people allow the opinions of others to hold them back and water down their dreams. We have to realize, there will always be critics and naysayers in life. One of the most important things you can learn is that other people don’t have to believe in you in order for your dreams to come to pass. Other people don’t set the limits for your life — you do. It’s not what others say about you that affects your life, but what you say and believe about yourself" Joel Osteen

I have to honestly say I have done this, allow the opinions of others to hold me back and water down my dreams.  So how do I get "unstuck" from that?
A few weeks ago I got "slammed" on a personal level.  But it was a wake up call to me.  For someone being so concerned about what other people think about me I didn't show myself  in a good light.  I was angry with myself thinking I should know better because of the way I've been taught.  Here I am claiming to be one thing and showing myself to be the opposite.
Our human nature is that of being selfish and thinking of our own desires and how things will affect "me".  But we can also be selfless, in that we would also help others beyond our own needs and wants.
So as I am processing all of this in my heart and mind these past weeks I've been reminded from several sources that I don't have to believe what others think about me.  I can also turn this negative around to a positive by bettering myself.  So how do I do that?
Every day is an opportunity to Renew my mind.  Everyday we Should Renew our minds!  Everyday is an opportunity to forgive and seek forgiveness....of oneself and others.  I am human.  I will make bad choices.  but it is my response to those choices and how I learn from those choices to make myself a better person because of it.
Mind Renewal is a Daily process.  It is instant, yet it is ongoing!
We are going to get "Stuck".  I think that is a given, but what is not a given is how long you stay stuck.  This quote kind of sums it up.
"Be careful about what you think and what you say during your times of trial and tribulation. The attitude you have while in the wilderness determines how long you stay there."
Getting stuck can be a momentary thing or it can be a long drawn out thing.  It all depends on what you think and say to yourself in those stuck situations.  This is really where our affirmations come into play.  We will always encounter situations or others people's opinions of us that are not "favorable".  Affirmations are our way of Renewing our minds and thoughts to the Truth of who we are and not being stuck in what other's think or say about us...that is why we can have so many affirmations as each day brings new encounters.  Every day I can create a new me.  Every day can be a Genesis encounter.

genesis - a coming into being.  a beginning, creation, starting point..

"God, make a fresh start in me,
      shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. "
(Psalm 51:10 The Message)

Tomorrow morning I leave for Albuquerque, New Mexico.  I will be celebrating my birthday with my brother and sister on Thursday.  I will be gone for two weeks.  I do not think I will have internet access.  If and when I do I will update you all as I can on the trip.  Sunday we will be driving from Albuquerque to a town northeast of Dallas(about a 12 hour drive) as my sister will be moving there.
I will be using this time as a "Genesis week".  I plan on using my downtime as a time of renewal and rejuvenation. 

U.S.of A. Day 25: Getting "Unstuck"

"Whether we realize it or not, we are speaking into each others' lives. what a powerful thought" ~Me
And maybe by "chance" I may just be sharing a very similar experience with someone else.  What if what I am going through or have gone through in my life is very similar to what you may have or are going through?  What if I never shared these very personal experiences and thoughts with you? I think people need to see not just that I am a changed person or now have a positive attitude, but see "HOW" I did it!  We all go through different processes to resolve our unfinished business or even how long it takes.  We travel our journeys at the speed of "you".  I've felt like I was a slow learner, but when we look at those that have the resources made available to them and they don't even take that step...those are the "slow" ones!  So if you are here and are taking even baby steps, you are doing more than many many other people!
I see "stuck" people all around me in my daily life.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see a "stuck" person.  But what I am learning from Carlos is that I DON'T have to be a "stuck" person.  And so I share my very personal life experiences in hopes that maybe one person will identify with my story and it will help them to get "unstuck" as I share how I am getting "unstuck" myself!

I've had some "stuck" moments this past week.  I haven't worked out all week last week.  But, you know what?  That's ok!!! I do have a massive goal of gaining 8 lbs of LBM, and I WILL get there!!!  That goal doesn't change!  What does change is ME!!!  I AM changing!  I am growing!  I do not have to get down on myself because I have not moved forward wholly with this goal, YET!
Am I still living an Unstoppable Summer of Awesomeness?  YES!! 8 lbs of LBM is nothing compared to how I am growing personally, spiritually, mentally, emotionally.

"Why Delay Amazing?" isn't just about fat loss (muscle gain, or whatever your physical goal)..It's about BEing Amazing...from the Inside out!  The physical is just an outward result of Inner Amazing-ness!

I AM Unstoppable!  no matter what "life" says!
As Carlos tells me, "We can make our own reality!"

U.S.of A. Day 23: What is the Truth?

"Be careful about what you think and what you say during your times of trial and tribulation. The attitude you have while in the wilderness determines how long you stay there."~ Joyce Meyers

I read this quote this morning,  And I think about my own times of trial and tribulation and reflect on my thoughts during these times.  For years my thoughts were negative.  I focused on those things I could not control and I "allowed" them to control me and my attitude about myself, my marriage, my life.  By doing that I felt like I wasn't good enough.  I couldn't do anything right.  Success was only something other people achieved in finances, in marriage, in relationships, in life.  Somehow I didn't "deserve" success.

As I type this, I am having a light bulb moment of one time in my life where this "lie" had a small root. Let me insert the story, in hopes maybe someone can relate.
I was a sophomore in high school on the Junior Varsity volleyball team.  The Varsity coaches felt I had enough skill and talent to be "pulled up" onto the Varsity squad.  As a result, some of my classmates were (in my perception) jealous of this move by the coaches.  A couple of those girls quit.  I believed that to be them thinking I wasn't good enough to be on the Varsity squad and they should have been.  This left me feeling/believing that maybe I didn't deserve to be on that Varsity squad. 
Another story of when the "lie" that I wasn't good enough had it's root was on my 13th birthday.  I had planned a birthday party and invited many girls from class at school.  It turned out only 2 girls showed up for my party.  I was devastated!  I remember crying, thinking, "What's wrong with me?  Why don't they like me?"  I can still "see" that day clearly sitting in my living room, crying as I opened the few gifts that were given me. 

The result of this thinking was adding 90 lbs of extra weight on my body over the course of  nearly 19 years.  My husband would say to me many times, "do you even hear yourself?"  And so I wandered in this "wilderness" of mine for years!  I was living under the "lie" that what others thought of me determined my worth.  And somehow I "proved" this by believing that when people entered my life and "left" (either by way of moving away or losing contact, etc.) that it just "proved" to me that I wasn't good enough.
So in watching the movie Carlos posted(The Final Cut"), I could "see" myself in that movie.  My beliefs about those early memories determined the course of my life up to this point in my life. 
And so I am challenged again with something similar. 
I am in the middle of a divorce.  My seven year old wants to live with his dad.  I am unable to communicate with one of my best friends.  Some issues rise up at work.
Those 'old' feelings of not feeling good enough well up.  This has been my challenge this week.  I have not worked out all week. I have eaten pretty good.  Not where I want to be, but not bad either.  (probably not enough)  So where has MY focus been?  I can "hear" Carlos' words, "here we are going along merrily and then opps, something shows up and gets us off track."  So what do we do about that?  We have to get to the truth!  We have to dispel the lies. 
The Truth is...those girls not coming to my party more than likely had nothing to do with me!
The Truth is...those girls quitting probably had nothing to do with me being on the Varsity squad, but was about THEM not being pulled up.  I DID deserve to be on that Varsity squad!
The Truth is...I do deserve success in all areas of my life.
The Truth is...I am the best at my job.
The Truth is...I am the best mom I can be.
The Truth is...divorce does not define me.
The Truth is...just because I can't communicate with my friend does not mean I have "lost" them. 
So what is an affirmation all about?  It's about taking charge of what you are thinking and saying in your times of trial and tribulation.  An affirmation is giving your attitude direction and focus on the truth.  It is saying to those lies we tell ourselves or hear from other people, "No, I will not accept you!  I accept and believe the truth.   the Truth is.."
In 2006, I started my journey of Affirmations.  I have lost 90 lbs along the way.  But it's not about fat loss or losing 90 lbs or even 9 lbs.!  It is about what you believe!  Are you believing the lies or are you believing the Truth?  If you believe the lies you do all you can to cover up the pain of those lies you are believing.  If you believe the Truth, you are set free from the pain of those lies and you live Success in every moment.
As Carlos shares with us, something will always show up!!  But, it's what you think and believe about those things and learning HOW to think in those times that will determine your success and your future outcomes.  This journey will never end.  The day you stop affirming those Truths is the day you revert back to those old ways of thinking.

U.S.of A. Day 5: Affirmations

I want to share with you my affirmations I have come up with for My Unstoppable Summer of Awesomeness.  Maybe it will help some of you.  I know it helps me to see what other people come up with.

Suzette's Unstoppable Summer of Awesomeness Affirmations
1. I am gaining 8 lbs or more Lean Muscle as I drop the same in body fat.
2. I will do this in 8 weeks by August 31
3. My diet is perfect for building muscle.
4. Every day I eat good quality protein and veggies.
5. I eat just enough to feed my muscles for growth and strength.
6. I choose peace within my personal relationships and recognize those things I have no control over.
7. I workout with intensity and push myself to work harder with each day.
8. I am better in mind, body and soul now than I was at the end of my first muscle mission.
9. I am stronger with more lean muscle and less body fat.
10. I am tighter.  I am leaner.
11. I think like a Champion.
12. I do daily what ordinary people only do once in a while.
13. I maintain a positive attitude and outlook on life.
14. I only focus on those thoughts and actions that will propel me towards my goal of adding 8 lbs. lean muscle and losing 8 lbs. body fat.
15. I am in the best shape of my life; mind, body, soul.
16. I love the way I feel inside and out as I reach my goal.
17. I feel empowered to help others because I have done it.

I have printed this out and check each one off every day. several times a day.
I will these outloud to myself with conviction and emotion.
these affirmations are not just about my physique goals but also personal and life goals of having "healthy" relationships and "healthy" mindset overall.

Today was another day at my brother's pool with my kids!  such fun..and more sun!  Another perfect day!  Loving life!!  playing with my kids and even my mom played with us! (if you'd like, stop by my facebook page for some pics from yesterday and today with my kids poolside! some fun pics in there of yours truly! LOL don't want to miss those! LOL)

Got in a great Muscle workout!  Did the whole thing through as yesterday I only made it through the first movement!
Eats must get better.  not terrible but I need to get my food plan together for muscle growth to take place!  I really don't know where I ended up today with calories but I am sure I am under...
It will happen!  Muscle growth will not take place if I don't take in what I need.

today's pic, again poolside!  I NEED a tan!!! lol.




LOL!!!  My mom and I "posing" and my 12 year old doing his thing! lol..love it!  I think my mom is having fun!!  but she needs to work on those biceps!  I told her they are going the wrong way! LOL.

I AM Unstoppable!!

"U.S. of A." Day 1

U.S.of A.  = Unstoppable Summer of Awesomeness!!

This day is a New Beginning for me.  I believe I have come to a great place in my mindset, despite all that is going on around me.  True transformation starts in the mind!  It has taken me literally years to come to where I am today.  It hasn't been an easy road, but it has been worth it.  I am worth it!  It has finally sunk in that my worth is not dependent on what others think of me, or whether certain people are in my life. Nor does what I have been taught as a young person by way of example from others around me define who I am or my worth.   Nor do my circumstances define my worth.   My worth is found within.
I truly feel I am able to "Let Go" of those thoughts that have been contributing to holding me back, to truly believing in myself and achieving my dreams.

Today I feel relaxed and ready in mind and spirit.

My goals for the next 8 weeks. (Participating in Elaine's Transformation Extravaganza)
I have really been thinking a lot about this.  I don't want to focus on scale weight.  But, I do want to work on reducing both my hips and waist measurements by at least 1 inch.  I also want to reduce bodyfat.(at this time I do not know what my BF% is. )  I did weigh myself tonight and found that I have lost some scale weight in just the past few days.  But my work load is different at work now, so I am walking a lot more throughout the day!
I weighed in at 158 lbs. today (I am 5'8" for those that don't know) I would like to weigh in at 150 lbs but with increased lean body mass that will be visibly evidenced by my before/after pictures.
I am "tempted" to attempt what I nearly accomplished last year in a previous Muscle mission of gaining 8 lbs LBM and losing 8 lbs fat.  and if i can do that in 8 weeks, that would be awesome!
I believe I can do it! 
and so that is my goal:  Gain 8, Lose 8 in 8 weeks. (Triple 8's)
How am I going to do this?
I decided today that I will do the Muscle program.
I have  yet to determine my calorie requirements but will do that over the weekend.
Obstacle #1:  of course the obvious one will be July 4th festivities.
Strategy:  take chicken to grill instead of eating hot dogs.   I will drink my green smoothie before I go, to make sure I get my greens in.
Obstacle #2:  my birthday on August 11.
Strategy:  choose healthy options to 'celebrate'.  I  don't need cake! or ice cream to celebrate.

Why am I doing this?
Because I can!  why not?
I want to regain the physique from Feb. 2010.
I want the inner results that it will take to achieve this goal...the Mind of a Champion!  I want to think like a Champion.  I want to act like a Champion.  I want to be a Champion.

Some bit of "history" from me.
As I was cleaning up my bedroom today, I found a copy of a "scale print out" from when I weighed myself back in 2006.  I don't know the exact date on it as that part has faded..but the rest shows clearly!
Here's what the print out says:
"Your weight 238.8 lbs
(allow 5.5 lbs for clothing)
Ideal weight: 143.6 lbs.
You are overweight 95.2 lbs"

Here's to  an Unstoppable Summer of Awesomeness!!

and the story continues!

Love Life, Let Go, Breathe Deeply!

I continue on with this theme!

Elaine has inspired me to "Love Life"! 
Even with challenges that life presents us, we can still Love Life!  Live in those special moments and cherish them.
Today I "forced" my four kids to come outside and take a walk with me down our long driveway! It was too beautiful today not to! They resisted at first, but I could tell they still enjoyed the time.  I am sure they were smiling!  I know I was!


Let Go!  Today, I truly feel I have finally come to a place of letting go of the "crap" I've been holding onto these past months(even years).  I've finally let go of the negative "weight" I've been carrying.  I feel lighter.

Breathe Deeply!  Now it's time to take a deep breath and step into a New Beginning!  I am ready!  I am excited!  It's time to set and reach some new goals.  Reach for Big Dreams!

Me and my baby!  He turns 7 on the 30th!

The Adventures of...

The Adventures of....

Aren't all of our lives full of adventure? There is no straight line in life, is there? We have ideas of what our life "should" look like, a nice, flat, smooth road. But we know that is not realistic.
What IS real is that there are forks in the road that we have to choose between.
There are sometimes speed bumps we must cross.
There are little 'bunny hills' we must traverse.
And then, there are some mountains we must climb. And what more adventure is there than in mountain climbing?
Those speed bumps and bunny hills really are just preparation for the mountain.
My life has been one adventure after another. Each it's own different kind of speed bump, bunny hill and mountain. (I've often joked my life could be a real life soap opera!) But each adventure has built up to bigger and 'better' mountains to climb. Gaining Strength and confidence in each one.
Thank God for the "safety ropes" in family and dear friends who are there to help pull you up when you lose your step and help you guide your way by guiding your next step because they have already traversed the way or can see from a different perspective. And it's those same people who will celebrate with you when you reach the summit!

the Story isn't in the "goal", the story is in the climb!

Strength is not at the summit, but is in the climbing!

Love Life, Let Go, Breathe Deeply!

Love Life, Let Go, Breathe Deeply!

I think this will be my theme for the remainder of this month of June.
It needs to be.  A huge transition will be taking place in my situation the first of July.
I will have to consciously look and be aware of what's good in my life and not focus on what is not good.
I will have to face the true reality of letting go of something that has been in my life for the past 23 years.
And I will have to Breathe Deeply to get through these days.

This transition could pose an opportunity to fall back into negative emotional patterns of poor food choices and not doing my workouts..as I have let myself do this in the past.
So, The Summer Extravaganza couldn't come at a better time to help  me with that focus.  The power of accountability.  The power of positive support and encouragement.  But Ultimately I will choose!  I will make the choice!


Got the workout done tonight!  With some help from some powerful visualization from the Awesome Elaine!
"I want to work my body tomorrow.  I want to push beyond.  I want to gasp for breath, see stars behind my eyelids, feel the burn, be wiping snot and sweat onto my t-shirt.  I want to turn red in the face.  I want my hair to look like a rat's nest.  I want people to think I peed my pants from the sweat circles around my crotch.  I want to feel dizzy, woozy and wobble-legged when I walk out of the gym tomorrow.  I want to get into my car, rest my head on the steering wheel and cry tears of relief and joy.  I want all those natural chemicals to rush from my head through my body.  I want to feel like I've worked.  Like I gave my all and have nothing left to give.  Like I'm alive.

I want it...I'm going after it. "  ~Elaine Morales


Tomorrow(Friday) I will be having the Novasure procedure done at 10:30 am...so be thinking of me.  I will be under anesthesia, but the procedure will only take about 15 minutes.  This procedure will cut back drastically my monthly cycle!  This is my "Love Life" moment for the next day.  I can't wait to experience the results of this procedure!

Be Thankful in All things

Something I wrote on June 23, 2011.

Every day is a step forward!
Today was HIIT Cardio.  was sweating it up!
Lots of thinking and processing going on.
Practicing "Loving Life, Letting Go and Breathing Deeply"
Being Thankful is my "loving life" action today.
Being Thankful is also a way of "letting go".  by being thankful it allows us to see the good even in the midst of the bad and our focus is then taken off the bad and onto the good.  Being thankful for what is to come is also an expression of faith.
As I breathe deeply I can envision breathing in the good and letting go of the bad.
Some things I am thankful for:
Dad!  My dad has been a lifeline for me in so many ways!  and never expecting anything in return.
We had a special one on one dinner on Father's Day.  What a blessing to be able to do that together.
Mom!  My mother has been one of my best friends.  I can tell her most anything.  She doesn't always know what to say in response, but always is there to listen.  I treasure our friendship.
My Kids!  I am thankful that so far, my kids have adjusted well with the upcoming changes in our household.
My current Challenge! Yes, I am thankful for this challenge.  I am learning a lot about myself.   I am becoming stronger as a  person.  My faith is growing; my Faith in God, Faith in myself, faith in my destiny.
I am thankful that my challenge is not as difficult as it could be.  We are choosing to make it as "peaceable" as possible.
Elaine! Loving Elaine's blogs!  Elaine, I am so thankful for you!  I am thankful for your Champion spirit, drive, commitment and determination.  I am thankful for your enthusiasm and positive outlook.  I am thankful you had a dream and made the decision to go for it and give it all you got!  I am thankful for your constant encouragement!  I am thankful for your friendship.
Carlos!  I am so thankful for you!  Your continued patience and willingness to teach.  Teaching in mind, body, and spirit.  I am honored to be one of your students.

Love Life, Let Go, Breathe Deeply: Putting it into practice

I'm a little behind in my blogging.  Here is something I wrote last week"

So today I was able to put into practice what I was sharing in my last post.
Loving Life = sat down at the kitchen table for lunch with my four kids today.  To some this might seem normal...but has not been in our house.  It is usually everyone fending for themselves and eating in front of the computer or TV.
It was good!  The kids didn't seem to mind!  We had "homemade" pizza.
I am so thankful for this moment with my kids.  We will incorporate this more in our routine.
Letting Go = a "minor" confrontation ...which usually leaves me very upset and mad for hours.  I turned that around and was very conscious of my attitude and am deciding to forgive in this moment.  I do not want to hold on to any resentments or angry feelings that will only serve to hurt me; mind, body, soul.
Breathe Deeply = In that moment of deciding to forgive, I also consciously took some time to do some deep breathing...because we know that stressful situations cause us to hold our breath.  I needed those deep cleansing breathes to rid myself of those angry feelings.

Loving Life, Letting Go, Breathing Deeply!

I am unstoppable.

to me, this is the essence of Transformation...and I'm doing some heavy "lifting" right now.

Love Life, Let Go, Breathe Deeply!

I was tired today, but got the workout done!!  I felt good.
Mindset strategies are improving.  I am really focusing on "loving my life" and not living in the helplessness I feel with certain situations that only cause me depression.  I have also been working on forgiveness of others and of self...because it is not until I can truly forgive that I can live at peace within myself.  And when I am at peace, things just flow...even though it might not be how I would like it..and I can "love life" when I am at peace.  It is in the "letting go" and being thankful for not just where I am at but also for what is to come!!

Something I want to start doing is practicing some deep breathing!  I was reading today how many heart patients are shallow breathers and that when we are stressed our bodies go into a "flight or fight" mode.  basically we stop our breathing in order to prepare our bodies to run or fight. By breathing deeply we get more oxygen into our lungs and therefore into our bodies and organs.  We need that oxygen for our organs to function at full capacity.  And when I am stressed, I DO catch myself holding my breath!  I actually have noticed this for a while now.  I liken it to a feeling of "drowning" in a stressful situation.  No wonder my gall bladder stopped functioning! (you think?)  Stress...holding my breath...lack of oxygen in my body....body breaking down.  Research I had done last year said that a low functioning gall bladder is most likely caused from long term stress. hmmm.
So don't hold your breath!!
Keep breathing!
Deep Cleansing Breaths!

Love Life, Let Go, Breathe Deeply!

"Learning How to Think" "What do you Believe about this?"...in action

So this week I have been experiencing more lessons in thinking.
The lesson from this blog post, Turning Overwhelming into Overcoming I got to put into practice yesterday. A friend had posted in a blog saying, "I love my life." My initial reaction was to question that in my own life. "How can I say, 'I love my life' when I am going through a very tough challenge in my life right now that is not pleasant?
My mentor, Carlos DeJesus, asks me, "What do you believe about this?"
I've been asked this question many times over the past year (plus). It always seemed to take me "forever" to come up with what I believe. But this time, I think I am finally getting it!
The lesson of overcoming overwhelm was to think about one thing at a time...to think about each thing individually. to not combine thoughts together that don't need to be combined.
So this is what I did with this conversation. I realized that I was adding the two together ('loving life' and going through unpleasant challenge).
I guess I was "combining" the two ideas together..that of loving life and the challenge. Of course this challenge is not something to love..but I can still love my life despite going through this.
so I guess my belief was that I could not love life going through this challenge because this challenge is not pleasant...so how could I "love" it? But, by separating the two...even though this challenge is not pleasant...I can still love my life...
Because I AM growing.
because I AM getting stronger(in mind and spirit)...because I can still become who God wants me to be. and do what He wants me to do.

So the next time you are facing a difficult challenge, ask yourself, "What do I believe about this?" It could be the key to "unlocking" the truth. Once you can identify your beliefs you can then go about finding the truth of who you are,

In summary, I believed I could not love my life and go through this tough challenge.
but the truth is...I CAN love my life in spite of this difficult challenge!

“What does this experience make possible?

Someone on facebook shared this article asking this question.

“What does this experience make possible?

The author, Michael Hyatt says this:  "The bottom line is this: you can’t always choose what happens to you. Accidents and tragedies happen. But you can choose how you respond to those situations. One of the best ways to begin is to ask yourself the right question."

So of course this makes me think of my own life situation and I ponder this question.  I will journal my thoughts and see what I can come up with.  I do know that all things work out together for good and good will come from all situations.  We just have to see the good in it.  I feel like I have been focusing so much on the bad stuff in recent months that it did get me to the point of overwhelm.  It's time to turn my thinking around.  It's time to think about how good the future is and even the present!

Turning Overwhelming into Overcoming

Indeed I was feeling quite overwhelmed by different situations in my life recently and by compounding them together made it overwhelming hence the way I was feeling.
But I was reminded by my mentor yesterday that I need to not compound these different things as it only leads to feelings of overwhelm..and that it was.
Look at the things that are happening in your life one at a time.
And deal with them separately- and one at a time
If not they will seem to multiply.
When I said this,
"Right now all I want to do is crawl into bed and just sleep the rest of the day away so I don't have to think about anything..I want to withdraw. I want to retreat. "
This is what happens when we get overwhelmed with issues that we either add or multiply together- this compromises our problem solving skills.
Deal with one thing at a time- do not allow them to build up- that is when we get overwhelmed.

Today I am focusing on the good that can and will come from each of these different circumstances, individually..one at a time. By doing that I can eliminate the negative feelings associated with these "events". By thinking of them separately and one at a time it will eliminate the feeling of overwhelm and I can actually become an Overcomer!
I will get back into my training program and will get the food issues under control. Besides my mindset, those are the two things I can control.

Gut Honest

Gut honest here!  I am really having a hard time today.
I had to let one of my long term employees go yesterday.  She had been working with me for nearly 7 years.  When you work with someone this long it is kind of hard not to become friends.  This on top of what is already going on in my personal life.  Right now all I want to do is crawl into bed and just sleep the rest of the day away so I don't have to think about anything.  I want to withdraw.  I want to retreat.
My world is turned upside down and I am being rocked.

I've only trained one day this week.  My eating hasn't been too horrible, but not great either.
All choices I am making.

I did unearth a limiting belief about myself recently.  And I am working through it.  The personal issues I am going through right now only enhance the limiting belief.
The past 18 months I have been going through a transformation of a different kind.  I feel like I am learning who Suzette is...who she is meant to be.  I am learning I am not who I grew up believing I was.  I don't have to hold onto limiting beliefs about myself.  I can identify them and I can dispel them with the truth of who I am meant to be, who I already am on the inside.
I am good enough.
I am capable of success.
I am strong.

Storms

A beautiful southeast Michigan evening sky!


It seems we go through the storms of life so to appreciate the beautiful, calm days of life.
I have been going through my own forms of life storms it seems these past couple of years. And guess what, it will never stop. Just like the weather, we will always have storms in life and assuredly, there will always be calm after the storm. but just like those devastating storms we hear about on the news and maybe some of you are experiencing first hand, those that survive those storms become so much stronger. As you go through such tough stuff you often wonder if and how you will ever make it through the storm and even more so, the aftermath of that storm...which often seems worse than the storm itself as you now have to clean up and rebuild and repair what was lost.
 I see how we all have been touched by some form of a storm in life. Storms that come unexpected and storms that we can see coming on the horizon. These storms come in many sizes and shapes...loss of a family member, loss of a marriage, loss of a job, loss of health, even loss of a dream or vision.
But there is a common thread in all of these storms.
We all have Choices!
You can choose to be depressed and let it get you down and stop you from fulfilling your destiny.
Or you can Choose to be an overcomer and to rise above your circumstances and become Stronger in the process.
You can Choose to eat healthy foods. You can Choose to workout.
You can Choose to revive, rebuild, restore your dreams and visions of what your future can be.
You can Choose to keep the faith in your dreams and your destiny, despite what the circumstances say around you right now.
I Choose to believe!
I Choose to have faith!
I Choose to be Unstoppable!

Dare...Boldly 2011: "No Surrender!" T-69

Woman on a Mission!

The chicks have been moved!! (Dad hatched some baby chicks that he was "storing" in the garage in my workout space!)
I've got my game face back on!!
It's time for this Warrior Woman to get her mission on!
NOthing can stop me! I'm stronger than ever!
I never give up!