Being Transparent

I chatted with a good friend of mine yesterday.  In our conversation she says I sound like I am doing well, by the sounds of my blog posts.  Well, that's really only the half of it.  I am doing well.  But at the same time I am experiencing some extreme feelings of rejection and in my blog posts I don't mention this.  I do want to only say what is good and positive...but at the same time I don't want to be a "fraud".  The more we think on things, the more of that thing we bring into our lives.  I have experienced this on both accounts (good and bad).  I want so much to stay focused on those good and positive things.  Yet at the same time I am going through some life changes that are challenging.
I don't want to focus on the overwhelming feelings of rejection this past year has been challenging me with.  The past few days have been tough.
But what I have been challenged with (in a good way) Spiritually is to "Be Still".
We can get so busy with our lives or, for me, to always be thinking( I tend to overthink. doh!).  In whatever form we are "busy" if we don't take the time to "Be Still" life can seem to become overwhelming with the stresses and hard challenges...and for me right now, the overwhelming feelings of rejection in several areas of my life.  My divorce will be final October 24.  My 7 year old wants to live with his dad.  I haven't been able to talk to one of my best friends in months.

This is the stuff transformation is all about.  This is the stuff that holds people back from reaching their dreams and goals.  This is the stuff that stops people from moving forward in life.  This is the stuff that keeps people from reaching physique goals.
It is in learning how to think in these times and situations that seem so overwhelming.  It is in learning and finding Truth.  Feelings of rejection are really selfish thoughts.  Gaining a different perspective is essential here.  Counting Blessings are one way to do that.  I have counted my blessings...  This is the stuff I need to focus on.  The things in my life I have little to no control over, I need to "be still" with.  I need to see from a new perspective.  I need to focus on "what's good about this?"  The truth is even in the darkest of circumstances there IS something good!  We just have to be still long enough to see it, to hear it, to feel it, to Be it.

I know this is the internet and a very "public" place...but I really want my journey to be transparent.  I want people to see that it is so much more than just eating right, or working out.  As we get our hearts and minds right...that is when the eating and working out will become a non-issue.  But until then, we press on despite not always feeling like it. 

With all that said, I have been eating good the past few days.
I have been working my butt off in the gym, really pushing hard.  I have sweat!  I have pushed.  I have pulled.  I have punched.  I have kicked.  I have grunted!  I feel like things are moving forward.  I can feel the body burning and working through out the days.  As I get my food more in line with my core beliefs and dreams and goals, I know I will be a burning warrior machine.  I can already feel it.